It’s the best feeling. Like when you are looking at one of those 3D picture books and after straining your eyes you finally see the picture. It leaps out at you and you wonder why it took so long for you to notice something, well something so noticeable?!

For me, it is when that perfect phrase or sentence enters my mind and my mood or current state becomes depicted with words. I reach for the little journal that I carry with me (and if not that I reach for a napkin or scrap piece of paper) and write down the small little sentence that brought revelation.

I have many of these little descriptors sprinkled throughout my poetry journal. I have forgotten them over the weeks but they are refreshed within my memory as of recently:

Writing #1 – recorded 20 October 2007
Making full use of her knees, as she cannot see why else she would have them, she braces mind and lowers her body down. Bowing so low that she almost sinks beneath the grassy foundation. And I suspect if the ground would give, she would allow nature to cover her. Though her body, now small and condensed, lay almost parallel to the earth her mind creeps upward wishing it would levitate above this desire she has – to be nothing.
A mere shadow.
An etching in an elaborate oil painting.
A single vein in the leaf of a flower.
A block of ice in the igloo.
Nothing else but the reflection of Abba.

Writing #2 – recorded on the same date while at Juliettes Cafe

Beauty not reproduced or packaged.
You.

The way waves sound when the sand intercedes their rhythmic ripples.
You who created the sun which leaves its evidence on my freckled face and cherry pink skin.
Fall leaves painted burnt shades and hold true to the season as they FALL.
The smell of fresh (which Glade tries to reproduce).
Whisper to me in this salt swept breeze.

Vanilla sand clinging to my toes, rubbing my skin smooth.
A cleansing of the callouses.

Writing #3 – recorded 3 Decebmer 2007

He is heavy upon me.
As aching roots dive deep into the dense ground seeking the food that sustains.
He too pursues past the good cheer I reside in.

And lastly I would like to expose what I wrote the day I returned from camping. All of me ached for the solitutde of the forest once again. The apparent need to rely on Him seemed stolen from me. In many ways society became my cage and I tottered about looking for the key:

Recorded on 3 December 2007

He steadily labors over me, cultivating a once hardened clay which ebbs and flakes.
My warm bed makes me forget You.
My ability to consume coffee at anytime makes me forget You.
Showers, cleanliness, food, make-up, mirrors…
And I forget You.

(My self-condemnation was heavy upon me in this day. True to His name He comforted me and spoke that I may not bear the burden of any self hate)

1 Corinthians 13:12
“For now we see in a mirror dimly, but then face to face; now i know in part, but then I will know fully just as I also have been fully known.”

I received, by His grace, a glimpse into how close He truly is to me. And many more glimpses will He grant me…but while on this earth only glimpses they shall be…

Thank You Abba.

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