Over-stimulated.

This would be my word to describe the past week. Exactly a week ago today I landed in Townsville and have hit the ground running ever since. Writing, which is a deep passion of mine, has been on hold as I have not found the time nor the words to explain everything I am experiencing.

So far, I thoroughly enjoy the girls and leaders I have gotten to know a bit. Everyone here is so encouraging and pursuing holiness with a fierceness that I desire to have. The Lord draws ever near with each day; this week has been a week of reminders – reminder of His love, of His grace, of His call on my life. It is good to be reminded, so good to be loved by Him.

I am dealing with questions and struggles while being here that I did not think I would face. Hurts from my past have already come up and the reoccurring question, “Am I willing to obey in all aspects of my life to follow His call?” is daily on my mind. Missions are not for the weak, I hear that a lot. I would say being on the mission field is a constant reminder of who I truly am without Christ’s blood: how weak, how unable, how messy, and selfish. It is like carrying a mirror around with me everywhere I go that has my flesh displayed to everyone, a most humbling experience. And this is why I draw near to God, for I would be utterly crushed under the weight of all that I am without Him, brokenness and abandonment to self feels unfeasible and so my clingy hand is courageously before Him at all times, “More Lord, More Abba. I need more of You.” I am in tears as I break my week down into moment by moment.

7 days. 7 days of tears. 7 days of weakening. 7 days of bewilderment. 7 days of doubt. 7 days of drawing near. It has only been 7 days….

Thank you for your prayers as I have more confidence in your prayers than I will ever be able to express….

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